It occurred to me when I was driving to Roanoke on Friday.... you make your own happiness.
I spent all of 2013 complaining because my life sucked. I had terrible things just happen one after another and I think I blamed everyone but myself. I was so angry at everyone and everyone because life was so unfair. Half of my family really let me down and I blamed the other half for it. I was throwing blame like a flaming ball of fire. It occurred to me when I was driving home that the only person that I can blame for being so angry and unhappy is myself. I have the ultimate power in life to decide how I want to feel and how I want to channel my emotions. I'll be honest, until I found a way to channel my anger, I threw punches at anyone who would listen. It wasn't healthy. I'm not saying that I have found an end all, cure all, but I think I've found a way to minimize the radius of people I hurt when I'm upset.
Whether you have music, photography, art, dance, or the gym, everyone needs a venting tool. I use to be one of those people that would just sit around and bottle up my emotions and pop off the cap whenever it got completely full. Again, that's not healthy. So what's this huge epiphany I had? Here it is...
"To Be Better, You Must Do Better..."
It sounds so simple right? Good karma and all of that? Well it is. I took a step back and looked at how I was living my life from another perspective. I'm not saying I was a bad person but I didn't go out of my way to make other people feel better either. I started complimenting people throughout the day, telling people that they were good at something. I started venting my anger and hurt at the gym instead of on people. (I'm still working on this one) I started eating healthier and waking up earlier. I started staying full and living life. All of these things together really have made a huge difference. I wrote last week about "staying full" and how you should fill your days with as much life as possible so that there is no room for negativity and sadness. However, if you have a family like mine, that still creeps in there from time to time; knowing how to handle that is key to finding happiness as well. You have to do better all the time in order to be a better person. Doing better to others and to yourself. That's why I started eating better and taking care of myself health-wise (I still look like a bum when I go to class), but it's a start.
All of this hit me as I was driving to Roanoke to see my grandaddy! I'm so close with my grandparents, they've always been there for me. I grew up living less than a 5 mile radius at all times. He's real sick now and to say it breaks my heart is an absolute understatement. I won't go into detail about the situation because I respect my family's privacy (not that too many of you read this anyway) but finding a balance in my life and learning how to cope with my emotions has been my saving grace. If I had to deal with today's events in yesterday's mindset, I would be a wreck. I don't want to get all depressing on the few of you reading this, but I just wanted to share my great escape to happiness, or at least my building blocks to get there.
If you are reading this, I want you to pay-it-forward tomorrow... Tell someone a compliment and watch their day turn around. (Or if you're like me, awkwardly smile and say things while internally rolling your eyes and refuting the compliment -- I don't take compliments very well) ANYWAY, go out and do better and watch it make you feel better.
That's all folks, thanks for hanging in there!